


change is a powerful thing

by Jorun



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:22:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27195073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jorun/pseuds/Jorun
Summary: What was Candler thinking before and after his proposal to Monica in TOW The Girl Who Hits Joey?Canon. One shot.
Relationships: Chandler Bing/Monica Geller
Kudos: 11





	change is a powerful thing

Chandler Bing paced back and forth across the living room of apartment 19, agitatedly running his hands through his hair as he mentally berated himself for his own stupidity.  
  
This is what he had been afraid of when they had turned from friends to lovers. That he would eventually do something to screw it all up. That he would end up destroying their friendship and get his heart broken in the process.  
  
But it had never crossed his mind that he would end up hurting her in the process. That he could end up breaking her heart as well as his own. It was almost unbearable to think about.  
  
Of course, it was after he screwed up and was faced with the possibility of losing her that it had become more clear to him than ever. He never, ever wanted to lose her. And not just as a friend. Their time together since that blissful night in London had been the happiest months of his life. He could not bear to even contemplate a future where he didn’t get to wake up next to her in the morning.  
  
And suddenly he knew exactly what he needed to do.   
  
Not pausing to think over his decision, he grabbed his wallet and dashed out of the apartment.  
  


* * *

  
It wasn’t until he was sitting in a cab on his way back home, the box with the ring feeling like dead weight in his pocket, that it began to dawn on him what he was about to do.  
  
Fear and panic gripped him, as it always did when he thought about marriage, but he pushed it down. This was more important than his fears and insecurities. She was more important. He couldn’t lose her.  
  
Still, the thought that she might say yes made his hands shake with terror. But somehow the thought of her saying no, that she would still not want him, somehow terrified him even more. Which just cemented the thought that he had to do this, to show her how much he loved her and that he was willing to do anything to make her happy.  
  
He was shaken from his inner turmoil when the cab came to a stop outside the apartment building. He hurriedly pushed a wad of bills at the driver, not even bothering to count them.  
  
He rushed into the building, taking the stairs two at a time, only one thought left in his mind. He had to find Monica so he could ask her to marry him.  
  


* * *

  
Later that night, when he is lying in bed with her sleeping soundly in his arms, he feels like he might actually be the luckiest man alive.  
  
He hadn’t lost her. He hadn’t screwed up the best thing that ever happened to him. He would not doubt be subjected to endless teasing by their friends for months to come, but at the moment he couldn’t care less. Not only had Monica forgiven him for his earlier freak out, she had understood that he wasn’t ready for marriage yet. She’d more or less said she wasn’t ready for it herself.  
  
As relieved as he was that his impromptu proposal hadn’t ended with them becoming engaged, there was one even more astonishing thing that had happened that evening.  
  
She hadn’t said no. She hadn’t rejected him.  
  
She hadn’t said yes either, which logically could be seen as a rejection, but it didn’t feel like one. It was hard to feel anything other than happy when her back was pressed against his chest, her clutching the hand of the arm that he had wrapped around her waist tightly to her chest even in her sleep.  
  
And that was when he had the second revelation that day.  
  
One day he would be ready.  
  
He had known he loved her more than anything. Had known that he always wanted to be with her. But he had refused to let his mind think about things like marriage and children, knowing he would panic if he did.  
  
But… he had asked Monica to marry him. He had been completely terrified, sure. But he had still done it. And now he knew with absolute certainty, sometime in the future, if he was lucky enough that she still wanted to be with him, he was going to ask her again.


End file.
